tools to improve network performance via SNIP
knife, cutter, chainsaw
is used to control the network via Sysadmin Network Interrupt Protocol
Experience has shown that suitable application of these tools on the
network can lead to improved network performance, as busy segments of
useless traffic can be isolated from the important stuff (and the rest
of the world, for that matter). However, care must be taken, otherwise
lusers will be complaining about "network downtime".
knife vs LART
While knife can be used as a replacement for LART, the reverse is not
generally true; while blunt trauma works wonders on lusers, it tends to
be ineffective on cables. Also, note that using knife or one of it's
associates as a LART will probably lead to higher level assault charges
than one would get with a standard LART.
chainsaw, the power SNIP tool
chainsaw is a version of knife that makes quick work of almost any problem.
It also has a correspondingly higher potential for causing unintentional
damage. Handle with care.
In its normal application to cables, knife uses no files. If applied to
a disk, many files may be affected; see mkfs
You may be required to fix things eventually.
Bosses and the legal system may take a dim view of overenthusiastic application
of these tools.
While the origin of the first knife remains a mystery, this man page was
written by Kurt Hockenbury <[email protected]
>. He disclaims
responsibility for any actions inspired by this man page.